As I know most of you have seen, the verdict for Casey Anthony came down at 2:15 yesterday after a jury of her peers only deliberated for 10 hours. As with most of America anger swept through the crowds as it was announced that Casey was found "not guilty" on all major charges and "guilty" on the charges of lying to police. Well actually providing false information to law enforcement officers, but I'm not going to split hairs. I can say that with most of America I was angry, and felt like the justice system had grossly let down this 2 year old girl who died of causes unknown, and had a mother who did not report her missing for 31 days. So by the time the proper authorities were notified and by the time her body was found, all evidence of how she died, or who had been involved were all gone. How very sad for this child, to not have justice for her name. And how sad for her family. Then my mind took over and I analyzed the evidence before me.
To say the justice system failed is actually false. The justice system in it's set-up is what actually won the case. And don't think the jury thinks she is innocent because of the "not guilty" charge, they have to go by evidence. I go back to the days when I was in college and searching through case law after case law to answer homework questions. I have my bachelors in criminal justice and so once I sat down and thought about the evidence before me, I understood why the jury came back with the verdict it did. There was no smoking gun. There was no evidence that tied Casey to Caylee's death. Though the car may have reeked of decay there were no fluids in the car. There was no empty roll of duct tape found at the home, nor was there any sign of the brand of duct tape found at the scene. The heart stickers did not match any of the ones obtained from the home. The only thing that tied Casey to any crime was her lies about where her daughter was and the wild goose chase she led detectives on after her mother reported her to the police. The evidence was all circumstantial to the case. Yes this is how they found her, yes this was what surrounded her, yes Casey's answers were sketchy lies, however; nothing actually ties her to the death or disappearance of her daughter.
This may come off as callous and don't think for one second that I don't believe she is guilty of something. Whether it be murder, or just plain stupidity Casey Anthony is guilty! Guilty of being a young mother who did not place her child first. Guilty of not caring that her daughter was gone, guilty of partying and lying. She is guilty of a million things! However, there is no evidence that she was guilty of murder, and as a jury you can not place guilt on emotions, you have to go by what evidence is brought forth to you. And unfortunately nothing in that evidence ties Casey to the murder of her daughter. Not even an accidental death cover up, which we all know is false but Baez apparently felt that was a strong enough defense, and he was right. It was strong enough, and there just wasn't enough to say she did anything wrong to her child other than not reported her missing, and lied to investigators.
Now, even though the verdict came back "not guilty" and more than likely she may either be released on Thursday for time served, or have to spend one more year in jail, Casey's life is effectively over. And such a young life that is. Her life is over because even though she was found "not guilty" the world sees her as guilty, as a young mother who no longer wanted the responsibility of taking care of a child. Her life is over because she dragged her family through the mud. Accusing her father & brother of molestation and her mother of ignoring it. Over because she will never be able to get a job, she will never be able to have friends that trust her, and over because her family may never accept her back into their lives. She would really have been better off in jail because there are no answers for anyone to fall back on, there is no other person to blame but her for the young life lost.
So though we are all plagued with anger that our Justice System failed this little girl, the reality is that Casey Anthony will no longer have the life she knew. She will forever have to live with the guilt of losing her daughter to whatever means, she will forever have to deal with the lies she told, she will forever have to deal with the family she betrayed, and she will forever have to deal with the country who will not stand behind her. We believe that she was guilty, we believe that she lied, and we believe that she just got off scot free, however; Casey will have to endure her own hell for the rest of her life.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Paleo Challenge and Chase
Wow, it's been awhile since I wrote. It's been a busy year. But I decided it was time to start writing again.
My 8 yr old son Chase is a chunky monkey, and since I have been working hard at trying to lose weight, I figured it was time to get him involved as well. So I signed him up for a cross fit kids class at my gym. Which he loves. However, they have three weeks left and his trainer decided to give the kids a Paleo challenge. If you don't know what a Paleo diet is, it is basically going back to the days of the cave man. Nothing processed, no grains, no dairy, just lean meats, veggies, and fruit. Eggs are ok, because they are a protein and not a dairy. So I went to Trader Joes and bought almonds, almond butter, and some trail mix for in his lunch box. I already had an abundance of fruits and veggies from the fresh produce market, and now it's just putting it all together.
My son who wants to win the "prize" for whoever has the most points at the end of the challenge, does not want to do the work for said prize. This morning was a challenging morning as my daughter would not wake up for school, my box o'wine leaked in my fridge, and Chase did not want to wake up in time for school. So after fighting them to get up I went to make Chase breakfast, his usual waffles or pancakes was out, so I made him an egg, with a side of strawberries, and he went into melt down. Putting his feet firmly on the ground and setting his jaw, "I am not going to eat this!" I said "Chase you have 10 minutes before we have to leave for the bus, I don't have time for stubborn this morning, you need to eat this so you won't miss your bus and it's part of your challenge!" So I went into the kitchen to make his lunch for him to take to school, and in it I packed, grilled chicken chunks, and sliced apples, almond butter, carrots and celery, and a bottle of water. I need to go get some almond milk or something. I also put in one of his little trail mix bags. Well the nuts set him off. "I told you I don't want the nuts." He says, I tell him "Honey, you may want to eat them as a snack, and if you try them, you may just like them." So finally after the fighting, he reluctantly eats his breakfast, brushes his teeth and we get out the door by 8:35. Thankfully his bus was running late this morning. I'm not sure how this Paleo thing is going to work, but I'm sure going to give it a try. Hopefully after a few days he will quit fighting me!!!
My 8 yr old son Chase is a chunky monkey, and since I have been working hard at trying to lose weight, I figured it was time to get him involved as well. So I signed him up for a cross fit kids class at my gym. Which he loves. However, they have three weeks left and his trainer decided to give the kids a Paleo challenge. If you don't know what a Paleo diet is, it is basically going back to the days of the cave man. Nothing processed, no grains, no dairy, just lean meats, veggies, and fruit. Eggs are ok, because they are a protein and not a dairy. So I went to Trader Joes and bought almonds, almond butter, and some trail mix for in his lunch box. I already had an abundance of fruits and veggies from the fresh produce market, and now it's just putting it all together.
My son who wants to win the "prize" for whoever has the most points at the end of the challenge, does not want to do the work for said prize. This morning was a challenging morning as my daughter would not wake up for school, my box o'wine leaked in my fridge, and Chase did not want to wake up in time for school. So after fighting them to get up I went to make Chase breakfast, his usual waffles or pancakes was out, so I made him an egg, with a side of strawberries, and he went into melt down. Putting his feet firmly on the ground and setting his jaw, "I am not going to eat this!" I said "Chase you have 10 minutes before we have to leave for the bus, I don't have time for stubborn this morning, you need to eat this so you won't miss your bus and it's part of your challenge!" So I went into the kitchen to make his lunch for him to take to school, and in it I packed, grilled chicken chunks, and sliced apples, almond butter, carrots and celery, and a bottle of water. I need to go get some almond milk or something. I also put in one of his little trail mix bags. Well the nuts set him off. "I told you I don't want the nuts." He says, I tell him "Honey, you may want to eat them as a snack, and if you try them, you may just like them." So finally after the fighting, he reluctantly eats his breakfast, brushes his teeth and we get out the door by 8:35. Thankfully his bus was running late this morning. I'm not sure how this Paleo thing is going to work, but I'm sure going to give it a try. Hopefully after a few days he will quit fighting me!!!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Mammogram
For those of you who have not had the pleasure of a mammogram.. just wait, for those of you who have, I'm sure you can relate.
As I am not 40 yet I had not really thought about the actual act of the mammogram until early this week, when my doctor suggested I have one due to some lumps I had found. I have fiber cystic breasts and have felt lumps since 1999, however; they seemed to be spreading and I found some new ones and was concerned. So on Monday my doctor in a very enthusiastic tone, said "YAY, you are over 30 I can order a mammogram for you." *joy*
I didn't sleep much Monday night, not so much nervous about the test itself, I was nervous about the fact I couldn't wear deodorant for the day, or perfume, or powder, or lotion, or anything to cover any potential body odor I may drudge up during the course of my day since my appointment wasn't until 1:45. Any lotions, deodorants, or powders can show up on the x-ray. I'm a big a woman, I sweat sometimes, I was scared for whoever had to perform my mammogram I may knock them out with a stench unknown to man! So I made sure to put my deodorant in my purse, wore a shirt and sweater so I could spray my sweater with perfume and it wouldn't touch my skin, and also made sure I extra scrubbed my pits in the shower that morning.
As I arrive at my appointment they tell you to put on this little half gown that barely covers the girls, let alone my ample figure, and wait for them to call you back. So I wait, now not only self conscious of my body odor (which I didn't notice any but was still nervous) but also self-conscious about my fat rolls hanging out everywhere, and starting to get nervous about the mammogram itself. So this very sweet technician (thank GOD she was nice) calls me back and proceeds to explain what she is going to do. Take x-rays of the breasts using this innocuous looking machine. OK, no problem, I can handle this. So she tells me to untie my shirt, which I do and then she puts band aids over my nipples. I wasn't expecting that, no one tells you they are going to put band aids over your nipples. However, the band aids have little metal dots on them. This is to give the doctor looking at your x-ray an idea of the shape of your breast.
So she tells me to stand in front of the machine facing forward left arm up as we are working on the left girl and this is when I realize, OMG I really need to lose, weight, or have a reduction, or an augmentation, or something, well actually I realized it somewhat when she put the band aids on as she had to look down to find them. ANYWHO, she handles my mammies like a ball of dough, pliable, moving it whichever way necessary to get it to lay on the shelf the way needed them to, molding, kneading, I had to laugh to myself, "Welp, I'll never handle bread dough the same way again." She gets me all lined up, and then the horror begins. This flat, flat, did I mention flat panel comes down on top of your tender part and well flattens it out onto the shelf. Oh did I mention I was well endowed? And well the machine presses down so far and you think, "Oh this isn't so bad." Until you notice the little knob on the side to which she starts turning, and your mammies get flatter, and flatter, and the skin pulls a little tighter, and you think "Well this stings a little." AND THEN she says "OK, don't move, don't breath. Hold your breath." and walks behind her little wall to press the button. "DON'T BREATH?????" "REALLY!!!" OK, so usually you breath through pain, but nope, no breathing. Really though that part isn't so bad. So the left one gets smashed three times, the right one twice. She says "Wait here while I develop these and you need to have a sonogram done on your arm pits since you found lumps there."
So I go have the sonogram done on my armpits. This time a very nice gentleman who asks if I would like a chaperon. In my mind I'm thinking, "Really? I'm sure there are much hotter woman you would rather molest than me." So I say "No I'm good." And 15 minutes and slimy armpits later I'm done.
So the very sweet mammy kneading torture queen comes to find me to say the doctor found an area on the left side he is concerned about and would like another picture done. I say "OK" and walk back to the mammography room. She proceeds to take the flat panel off the machine and puts on one that looks like the underside of a cup holder for in your car. Like I could have put my cup of coffee in the top, only it wasn't the top that was going to be smashing my breast, it was the bottom part. She looks at me and says, " This one has the paddle on it to spread the tissue out further to get a better look." I looked at her and said "Ya, that one looks a little more dangerous." She laughed and proceeded to position the breast on the shelf like before. I was actually a little more nervous this time. That "paddle", "cup holder of death" whatever you want to call it, was a little intimidating. So she gets me all lined up and then the smashing begins. No, not smashing, imagine a ball of dough, take the bottom of a glass and smash it against that ball of dough, then make sure to press just a little harder in one area of the ball of dough to ensure you have it smashed out correctly, and proceed to tell the ball of dough to not move or breath while you run to your little wall to take a picture of that ball of dough. Ya, it was something like that..
So after that she says "Let me run this to the doc for another look." So I've decided to walk it off and not "have a seat" as she suggested, and walk around the room. Waiting... Waiting.... Waiting... She comes back, with a sinister look on her face, SINISTER I TELL YOU, and says, "I'm sorry but the doctor sees another area he would like a shot of." REALLY!!! With the "cone of death" you mean? So I pony up to the shelf yet again this time it's a little closer to the end of the breast. She proceeds to knead, I mean position my now tender and fragile mammy, and then the decent of the "paddle of doom" onto my already sore and probably never going to be the same breast..... again. Then comes the knob, then hold your breath, don't move. I have to say by this point that did pinch a little. And done! Whew, I think by now the worry about sweating and having body odor had gone out the window because, my brow was a bit moist, my muscles a bit tense, and my underarms could care less.
So we go through the same wait game, this time, I sit, there was no "walking off the pain" and for what seems like an eternity, she comes in to say that he still sees a dense area, and would like a sonogram done on that area. So we go back to the sonogram room with the male technician who this time does not ask if I need a chaperon as the "wicked breast torture queen" stayed anyway, and proceeds to perform the sonogram on my breast. Never thought a sonogram could hurt before. But my already tender, tortured, flattened, and had decided to give up breast, hurt a little in all this moving of the probe around it. And let me just say that warm sonogram gel, on sore, does not equal pleasant.
So finally the doctor evaluates all the information and sees that there is nothing wrong. Praise the Lord for that. 2 hours, 7 x-rays and 2 sonograms later, and I do not have Breast Cancer. Which is a good thing. I do however, 2 days later have tender breasts, but a higher appreciation for those who have to do this yearly, and for those fighting and surviving breast cancer. I am thankful the doctors did all that work to ensure that I was OK. Though funny and painful, it is a great blessing. And I decided to share this for those of you who have not quite had the pleasure of a mammogram and to remind you all to do your monthly breast examinations. If you find anything you are unsure about, contact your doctor immediately! Only you can catch it first, be proactive in your health care and mark my words, WATCH OUT FOR THE PADDLE!!!!!
As I am not 40 yet I had not really thought about the actual act of the mammogram until early this week, when my doctor suggested I have one due to some lumps I had found. I have fiber cystic breasts and have felt lumps since 1999, however; they seemed to be spreading and I found some new ones and was concerned. So on Monday my doctor in a very enthusiastic tone, said "YAY, you are over 30 I can order a mammogram for you." *joy*
I didn't sleep much Monday night, not so much nervous about the test itself, I was nervous about the fact I couldn't wear deodorant for the day, or perfume, or powder, or lotion, or anything to cover any potential body odor I may drudge up during the course of my day since my appointment wasn't until 1:45. Any lotions, deodorants, or powders can show up on the x-ray. I'm a big a woman, I sweat sometimes, I was scared for whoever had to perform my mammogram I may knock them out with a stench unknown to man! So I made sure to put my deodorant in my purse, wore a shirt and sweater so I could spray my sweater with perfume and it wouldn't touch my skin, and also made sure I extra scrubbed my pits in the shower that morning.
As I arrive at my appointment they tell you to put on this little half gown that barely covers the girls, let alone my ample figure, and wait for them to call you back. So I wait, now not only self conscious of my body odor (which I didn't notice any but was still nervous) but also self-conscious about my fat rolls hanging out everywhere, and starting to get nervous about the mammogram itself. So this very sweet technician (thank GOD she was nice) calls me back and proceeds to explain what she is going to do. Take x-rays of the breasts using this innocuous looking machine. OK, no problem, I can handle this. So she tells me to untie my shirt, which I do and then she puts band aids over my nipples. I wasn't expecting that, no one tells you they are going to put band aids over your nipples. However, the band aids have little metal dots on them. This is to give the doctor looking at your x-ray an idea of the shape of your breast.
So she tells me to stand in front of the machine facing forward left arm up as we are working on the left girl and this is when I realize, OMG I really need to lose, weight, or have a reduction, or an augmentation, or something, well actually I realized it somewhat when she put the band aids on as she had to look down to find them. ANYWHO, she handles my mammies like a ball of dough, pliable, moving it whichever way necessary to get it to lay on the shelf the way needed them to, molding, kneading, I had to laugh to myself, "Welp, I'll never handle bread dough the same way again." She gets me all lined up, and then the horror begins. This flat, flat, did I mention flat panel comes down on top of your tender part and well flattens it out onto the shelf. Oh did I mention I was well endowed? And well the machine presses down so far and you think, "Oh this isn't so bad." Until you notice the little knob on the side to which she starts turning, and your mammies get flatter, and flatter, and the skin pulls a little tighter, and you think "Well this stings a little." AND THEN she says "OK, don't move, don't breath. Hold your breath." and walks behind her little wall to press the button. "DON'T BREATH?????" "REALLY!!!" OK, so usually you breath through pain, but nope, no breathing. Really though that part isn't so bad. So the left one gets smashed three times, the right one twice. She says "Wait here while I develop these and you need to have a sonogram done on your arm pits since you found lumps there."
So I go have the sonogram done on my armpits. This time a very nice gentleman who asks if I would like a chaperon. In my mind I'm thinking, "Really? I'm sure there are much hotter woman you would rather molest than me." So I say "No I'm good." And 15 minutes and slimy armpits later I'm done.
So the very sweet mammy kneading torture queen comes to find me to say the doctor found an area on the left side he is concerned about and would like another picture done. I say "OK" and walk back to the mammography room. She proceeds to take the flat panel off the machine and puts on one that looks like the underside of a cup holder for in your car. Like I could have put my cup of coffee in the top, only it wasn't the top that was going to be smashing my breast, it was the bottom part. She looks at me and says, " This one has the paddle on it to spread the tissue out further to get a better look." I looked at her and said "Ya, that one looks a little more dangerous." She laughed and proceeded to position the breast on the shelf like before. I was actually a little more nervous this time. That "paddle", "cup holder of death" whatever you want to call it, was a little intimidating. So she gets me all lined up and then the smashing begins. No, not smashing, imagine a ball of dough, take the bottom of a glass and smash it against that ball of dough, then make sure to press just a little harder in one area of the ball of dough to ensure you have it smashed out correctly, and proceed to tell the ball of dough to not move or breath while you run to your little wall to take a picture of that ball of dough. Ya, it was something like that..
So after that she says "Let me run this to the doc for another look." So I've decided to walk it off and not "have a seat" as she suggested, and walk around the room. Waiting... Waiting.... Waiting... She comes back, with a sinister look on her face, SINISTER I TELL YOU, and says, "I'm sorry but the doctor sees another area he would like a shot of." REALLY!!! With the "cone of death" you mean? So I pony up to the shelf yet again this time it's a little closer to the end of the breast. She proceeds to knead, I mean position my now tender and fragile mammy, and then the decent of the "paddle of doom" onto my already sore and probably never going to be the same breast..... again. Then comes the knob, then hold your breath, don't move. I have to say by this point that did pinch a little. And done! Whew, I think by now the worry about sweating and having body odor had gone out the window because, my brow was a bit moist, my muscles a bit tense, and my underarms could care less.
So we go through the same wait game, this time, I sit, there was no "walking off the pain" and for what seems like an eternity, she comes in to say that he still sees a dense area, and would like a sonogram done on that area. So we go back to the sonogram room with the male technician who this time does not ask if I need a chaperon as the "wicked breast torture queen" stayed anyway, and proceeds to perform the sonogram on my breast. Never thought a sonogram could hurt before. But my already tender, tortured, flattened, and had decided to give up breast, hurt a little in all this moving of the probe around it. And let me just say that warm sonogram gel, on sore, does not equal pleasant.
So finally the doctor evaluates all the information and sees that there is nothing wrong. Praise the Lord for that. 2 hours, 7 x-rays and 2 sonograms later, and I do not have Breast Cancer. Which is a good thing. I do however, 2 days later have tender breasts, but a higher appreciation for those who have to do this yearly, and for those fighting and surviving breast cancer. I am thankful the doctors did all that work to ensure that I was OK. Though funny and painful, it is a great blessing. And I decided to share this for those of you who have not quite had the pleasure of a mammogram and to remind you all to do your monthly breast examinations. If you find anything you are unsure about, contact your doctor immediately! Only you can catch it first, be proactive in your health care and mark my words, WATCH OUT FOR THE PADDLE!!!!!
Monday, December 7, 2009
Prepare!!
You never know when something bad is going to happen to yourself or someone in your family. With our recent trip home due to my mother-in-laws accident I learned somethings that you should do in case something happens to you, and you can't tell people what your wishes are.
Always have a will, make up a legal will, do a living will as well, especially if you have children, younger children still in the home. Someone needs to know where to take those children should something happen to you. Make sure your closest relatives have copies of those wills, and keep one in your fire box. This way, everyone knows your wishes and their can be no arguments about any of it.
Have emergency numbers on your fridge for relatives in case an ambulance service has to come get you, they will know who to notify right away. Also in your cell phone put ICE (In Case of Emergency) next to the names EMT's would need to call should you be in an accident.
Put all of your passwords (ie: computer, phone, emails) on a piece of paper in you jewelry box, also in your fire box. Keep your firebox key or combo in your jewelry box or in an obvious place for a family member to find. Have copies of all your credit cards in there as well as all your banking information. If you are older, have one of your adult children on your back accounts, even younger have a parent or relative on your banking account for access. If something happens to you, the money will freeze and they will not have access to pay your bills or help take care of your children if need be. Also keep a list of all running bills on your desktop, in your firebox, wherever so that people know what you need to pay monthly in order to keep your house going if need be. Make sure you update it consistently, as they will need the most up to date information.
Make sure you have down your insurance companies and policy numbers, not just medical but your car, homeowners, whatever you have, so that your insurance can be contacted to cover the costs, or put your car on storage mode, or extra insurance on the house in case a pipe freezes and breaks.
Have a note about a paper delivery, something that my get dropped off to your house repeatedly and if not picked up someone will know you are not there. Have your outdoor lights and some indoor lights on timers, so if someone does approach the house it will have the illusion of occupancy. Make sure immediate neighbors know what is going on, and have a back up plan for your pets. Just because your family is taking care of you, does not always mean they can take your pets as well, so have a plan for your pets.
Let local law enforcement know the situation, they can put your loved ones house on their routes so that someone drives by to check on it consistently, there is a form you fill out letting them know what cars and persons will be there regularly so if they do come during a time you are there, they won't arrest you.
ANYTHING you may not want someone to find in your home, very personal items, keep in a tub in your closet marked DO NOT OPEN!! THROW AWAY!!! So if you have a porn collection, or "toys" or something of a very personal nature that you would be mortified that someone found, keep it in a tub so that if something does happen to you, they know they don't want to know what's in there.
It is important to understand that you may not be capable of letting everyone know all the information needed for long term care, or death. There is a lot of day-to-day things we do, that we would think someone would be able to just pick up and do, but really they can't know everything about you, nor do they know how you would do things. We get so lost in our own lives that we don't think about if something were to happen to us, all those little details that we do everyday that someone wouldn't even know where to begin if they had to walk into your life.
Most importantly, be prepared, you never know when something might happen, and it is important to protect yourself as well as your family in the event something might happen. Be safe, be prepared, and give you and your family piece of mind.
Always have a will, make up a legal will, do a living will as well, especially if you have children, younger children still in the home. Someone needs to know where to take those children should something happen to you. Make sure your closest relatives have copies of those wills, and keep one in your fire box. This way, everyone knows your wishes and their can be no arguments about any of it.
Have emergency numbers on your fridge for relatives in case an ambulance service has to come get you, they will know who to notify right away. Also in your cell phone put ICE (In Case of Emergency) next to the names EMT's would need to call should you be in an accident.
Put all of your passwords (ie: computer, phone, emails) on a piece of paper in you jewelry box, also in your fire box. Keep your firebox key or combo in your jewelry box or in an obvious place for a family member to find. Have copies of all your credit cards in there as well as all your banking information. If you are older, have one of your adult children on your back accounts, even younger have a parent or relative on your banking account for access. If something happens to you, the money will freeze and they will not have access to pay your bills or help take care of your children if need be. Also keep a list of all running bills on your desktop, in your firebox, wherever so that people know what you need to pay monthly in order to keep your house going if need be. Make sure you update it consistently, as they will need the most up to date information.
Make sure you have down your insurance companies and policy numbers, not just medical but your car, homeowners, whatever you have, so that your insurance can be contacted to cover the costs, or put your car on storage mode, or extra insurance on the house in case a pipe freezes and breaks.
Have a note about a paper delivery, something that my get dropped off to your house repeatedly and if not picked up someone will know you are not there. Have your outdoor lights and some indoor lights on timers, so if someone does approach the house it will have the illusion of occupancy. Make sure immediate neighbors know what is going on, and have a back up plan for your pets. Just because your family is taking care of you, does not always mean they can take your pets as well, so have a plan for your pets.
Let local law enforcement know the situation, they can put your loved ones house on their routes so that someone drives by to check on it consistently, there is a form you fill out letting them know what cars and persons will be there regularly so if they do come during a time you are there, they won't arrest you.
ANYTHING you may not want someone to find in your home, very personal items, keep in a tub in your closet marked DO NOT OPEN!! THROW AWAY!!! So if you have a porn collection, or "toys" or something of a very personal nature that you would be mortified that someone found, keep it in a tub so that if something does happen to you, they know they don't want to know what's in there.
It is important to understand that you may not be capable of letting everyone know all the information needed for long term care, or death. There is a lot of day-to-day things we do, that we would think someone would be able to just pick up and do, but really they can't know everything about you, nor do they know how you would do things. We get so lost in our own lives that we don't think about if something were to happen to us, all those little details that we do everyday that someone wouldn't even know where to begin if they had to walk into your life.
Most importantly, be prepared, you never know when something might happen, and it is important to protect yourself as well as your family in the event something might happen. Be safe, be prepared, and give you and your family piece of mind.
Holiday Depression
It's that time of year again. The hustle and bustle of the holidays, and me without my happy pills. I find that this time every year I get this spout of "can't do anything rightis.." I find myself questioning all decisions made over the past year, the choices throughout my life, and myself as a wife, mother, and friend. I find myself degrading my abilities to keep the house clean, the finances in order, and my family happy. It's as though the holidays which are suppose to bring out the best in people, really brings out the neurosis in me. There is never enough time, enough money, and enough wisdom to get through the holidays. There is so much to prepare for, so much to do, and it's frustrating when your house looks like a tornado when through it, and you can't get organized enough to get your decorations out. The holidays are always the time when I really wish I was a stay-at-home mom, just so I can get everything done, and not worry about how to do it all after work.
This year I'm feeling particularly sad as we had to take our impromptu trip to PA to see Mike's mother who was burned badly in a fire. When I got back I realized all the things I didn't get done and then that weight began to burden me. And now, we have to worry of his mom. I've noticed my sleep patterns have been bad, I keep getting heartburn constantly, and my emotions have been rampant. I am not a crier but lately feel as though I could cry at the drop of a hat. When will I get it together, when will organization fall on to me and I can know where to begin and how to do it all without battling in out with my family.
I want a clean house, I want to be able to wake up in the morning and get to work on time, without all the stress, I want to do things at the drop of a hat without the worry of what I didn't get done and will we be able to find the things we need to do it. I need a fairy to come into my life, I need motivation and energy. Energy, that's what I'm lacking, and I can't figure out why I'm so tired all the time. I'm tired of being tired, tired of being stressed, tired of being dis-organized, tired of being over-weight, and tired of letting this weight control my life. Where did it all go wrong? Where did I slip and never get back up again? Who all suffers for my exhaustion, is this the reason my daughter fails school because of my dis-organization, the reason my son is over-weight is because of me? My husband is angry all the time because of what I don't/can't do?
I just want to feel better. I want to be one of those skinny moms who has it all together, clean house, perfect kids, adoring husband, smile on their face. I'm tired of being the disheveled, stressed out, dis-organized mother that my children loath. My husband can't handle being around, I need to make changes only I don't know where to begin. I pray, and pray for guidance and strength to get my family through all this, I pray and pray to feel better, to lose weight and have given my finances to the Lord knowing that I can not control all things and he will do it for me. But the things I need to be in charge of, I haven't been able to do. Why? What is wrong with me?
This year I'm feeling particularly sad as we had to take our impromptu trip to PA to see Mike's mother who was burned badly in a fire. When I got back I realized all the things I didn't get done and then that weight began to burden me. And now, we have to worry of his mom. I've noticed my sleep patterns have been bad, I keep getting heartburn constantly, and my emotions have been rampant. I am not a crier but lately feel as though I could cry at the drop of a hat. When will I get it together, when will organization fall on to me and I can know where to begin and how to do it all without battling in out with my family.
I want a clean house, I want to be able to wake up in the morning and get to work on time, without all the stress, I want to do things at the drop of a hat without the worry of what I didn't get done and will we be able to find the things we need to do it. I need a fairy to come into my life, I need motivation and energy. Energy, that's what I'm lacking, and I can't figure out why I'm so tired all the time. I'm tired of being tired, tired of being stressed, tired of being dis-organized, tired of being over-weight, and tired of letting this weight control my life. Where did it all go wrong? Where did I slip and never get back up again? Who all suffers for my exhaustion, is this the reason my daughter fails school because of my dis-organization, the reason my son is over-weight is because of me? My husband is angry all the time because of what I don't/can't do?
I just want to feel better. I want to be one of those skinny moms who has it all together, clean house, perfect kids, adoring husband, smile on their face. I'm tired of being the disheveled, stressed out, dis-organized mother that my children loath. My husband can't handle being around, I need to make changes only I don't know where to begin. I pray, and pray for guidance and strength to get my family through all this, I pray and pray to feel better, to lose weight and have given my finances to the Lord knowing that I can not control all things and he will do it for me. But the things I need to be in charge of, I haven't been able to do. Why? What is wrong with me?
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
The History of Halloween
Halloween happens to be my favorite holiday. Fall, the colors of the changing trees, the smell of Autumn in the air, the little nip of chill in my skin, fall just makes it so magical. Halloween is the holiday with the least expectation. You dress up, you trick-or-treat, you hand out candy, you have fun. It is a fun holiday, however; so many resent Halloween, and why? There is a lot of folklore associated with Halloween. Most of it follows on the lines of witchcraft, however; times were different way back in the early days, and what seems odd to us, was actually very normal for them. Here is some history behind my favorite holiday.
Halloween actually originated with the Celts approximately 2000 years ago in the are we now know as Ireland, the United Kingdom, and Northern France. The Celts celebrated New Years on November 1st. Making October 31 their New Years Eve. They celebrated October 31, as the end of harvest season and the start of winter. It was also associated with human death. As long winters would bring on many deaths due to climate and lack of food, the Celts took this day October 31 to celebrate and give honor to those who had deceased in the past year. They felt that the night of October 31, the boundary between the worlds of the living and the dead became blurred. On October 31, the Celts celebrated Samhain, believing that the ghosts of the dead returned to walk the earth, to cause damage to crops and just cause trouble. On this night the Celt would build a huge sacred bonfires, and burn crops and animals to please the Celtic deities. They then would dress in animal skins and try to predict each others future. When the celebration was over, they would re-light their hearth fires with fire from the sacred bonfire to help protect them during the coming winter.
The Romans conquered most of the Celtic territory by A.D. 43, and during the course of their rein the Romans they combined two of their Roman festivals with the Celtic celebration of Samhain. One holiday was called Feralia, the second day was called Pomona. Pomona's symbol is an apple, once this festivity was included in the Celtic celebration of Samhain, it is how bobbing for apples started. Later in the 800's Christianity began it's way through the Celtic lands, and so Pope Boniface IV, designation November 1 All Saint's Day, also called All-hallows, or All-hallowmans, a time to honor saints and martyrs. They tried to replace the Celtic festival of the dead with a church-sanctioned holiday, however, it didn't take and so the Celtic holiday survived. And thus the Samhain began the name All-Hallows Eve, and eventually Halloween in 1000 A.D. Also during that year November 2 was named all Souls day. So recap, October 31, Celtic Samhain holiday became Halloween, November 1, Roman Feralia holiday became All Saint's Day, and November 2, Roman holiday Pomona became All Soul's Day.
Halloween customs came to America much as most things came to America, through immigration. Though it was more common in Maryland and Southern Colonies the beliefs and customs of different European ethnic groups, as well as American Indians meshed and so started our American version of Halloween. Public events were held to celebrate the harvest, and neighbors would get together to share stories of the dead, and try to tell each others fortunes, sing, and dance. During the second half of the nineteenth century an influx of new immigrants were flooding America, and most of the immigrants were of Irish decent, escaping Ireland's potato famine of 1846. Taking the Irish traditions and mixing with America's traditions, people began dressing up and going door to door where they would receive "soul-cakes" in return for prayers for the persons dead relative. People also asked for food or money during their tricks-or-treats.
Young women believed that on Halloween they would find their future husband by doing "tricks" with items such as yarn, apple parings, or mirrors. In those days, it was important to find a husband and be married, so they though by throwing apple peels over their should it would spell out the name of their husband, or by going into a dark room, looking in a mirror with a candle, their husbands face would appear behind them.
By the late 1800's Halloween evolved into a more community and neighborly get together, where whole towns would come out join in an celebrate the end of the harvest season. At the turn of the century, Halloween became more for children than adults. Newspapers asked adults to take any scary or grotesque things out of Halloween celebrations. By the 20's and 30's Halloween became secular, and community centered, by the 50's vandal's had ruined many communities and so it became a celebration for just children. Due to a high number of births in the 50's celebrations moved to civic centers, the classroom, or home where they could be easily accommodated. Trick-or-Treating became an inexpensive way for a community to celebrate Halloween together even though the community was growing much larger. So now it has turned into a $6.9 Billion dollar holiday. And what do you think most of that money is spent on, Tricks-or-Treats?
The tradition of wearing costumes goes all the way back to the Celtics, since they believed the souls of the dead walked the earth on those nights, you didn't want the ghosts to recognize you were living, so they wore masks and left bowls of food outside their homes to appease the ghosts and prevent them from entering. They also carved turnips into faces to scare any ghosts away. So that is why today, we dress up, Trick-or-treat, and carve pumpkins to celebrate Halloween..
All of the information found for this post, www.history.com
Halloween actually originated with the Celts approximately 2000 years ago in the are we now know as Ireland, the United Kingdom, and Northern France. The Celts celebrated New Years on November 1st. Making October 31 their New Years Eve. They celebrated October 31, as the end of harvest season and the start of winter. It was also associated with human death. As long winters would bring on many deaths due to climate and lack of food, the Celts took this day October 31 to celebrate and give honor to those who had deceased in the past year. They felt that the night of October 31, the boundary between the worlds of the living and the dead became blurred. On October 31, the Celts celebrated Samhain, believing that the ghosts of the dead returned to walk the earth, to cause damage to crops and just cause trouble. On this night the Celt would build a huge sacred bonfires, and burn crops and animals to please the Celtic deities. They then would dress in animal skins and try to predict each others future. When the celebration was over, they would re-light their hearth fires with fire from the sacred bonfire to help protect them during the coming winter.
The Romans conquered most of the Celtic territory by A.D. 43, and during the course of their rein the Romans they combined two of their Roman festivals with the Celtic celebration of Samhain. One holiday was called Feralia, the second day was called Pomona. Pomona's symbol is an apple, once this festivity was included in the Celtic celebration of Samhain, it is how bobbing for apples started. Later in the 800's Christianity began it's way through the Celtic lands, and so Pope Boniface IV, designation November 1 All Saint's Day, also called All-hallows, or All-hallowmans, a time to honor saints and martyrs. They tried to replace the Celtic festival of the dead with a church-sanctioned holiday, however, it didn't take and so the Celtic holiday survived. And thus the Samhain began the name All-Hallows Eve, and eventually Halloween in 1000 A.D. Also during that year November 2 was named all Souls day. So recap, October 31, Celtic Samhain holiday became Halloween, November 1, Roman Feralia holiday became All Saint's Day, and November 2, Roman holiday Pomona became All Soul's Day.
Halloween customs came to America much as most things came to America, through immigration. Though it was more common in Maryland and Southern Colonies the beliefs and customs of different European ethnic groups, as well as American Indians meshed and so started our American version of Halloween. Public events were held to celebrate the harvest, and neighbors would get together to share stories of the dead, and try to tell each others fortunes, sing, and dance. During the second half of the nineteenth century an influx of new immigrants were flooding America, and most of the immigrants were of Irish decent, escaping Ireland's potato famine of 1846. Taking the Irish traditions and mixing with America's traditions, people began dressing up and going door to door where they would receive "soul-cakes" in return for prayers for the persons dead relative. People also asked for food or money during their tricks-or-treats.
Young women believed that on Halloween they would find their future husband by doing "tricks" with items such as yarn, apple parings, or mirrors. In those days, it was important to find a husband and be married, so they though by throwing apple peels over their should it would spell out the name of their husband, or by going into a dark room, looking in a mirror with a candle, their husbands face would appear behind them.
By the late 1800's Halloween evolved into a more community and neighborly get together, where whole towns would come out join in an celebrate the end of the harvest season. At the turn of the century, Halloween became more for children than adults. Newspapers asked adults to take any scary or grotesque things out of Halloween celebrations. By the 20's and 30's Halloween became secular, and community centered, by the 50's vandal's had ruined many communities and so it became a celebration for just children. Due to a high number of births in the 50's celebrations moved to civic centers, the classroom, or home where they could be easily accommodated. Trick-or-Treating became an inexpensive way for a community to celebrate Halloween together even though the community was growing much larger. So now it has turned into a $6.9 Billion dollar holiday. And what do you think most of that money is spent on, Tricks-or-Treats?
The tradition of wearing costumes goes all the way back to the Celtics, since they believed the souls of the dead walked the earth on those nights, you didn't want the ghosts to recognize you were living, so they wore masks and left bowls of food outside their homes to appease the ghosts and prevent them from entering. They also carved turnips into faces to scare any ghosts away. So that is why today, we dress up, Trick-or-treat, and carve pumpkins to celebrate Halloween..
All of the information found for this post, www.history.com
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Deceit
How many times have you heard this story?
Man tells wife, "I no longer need you or love you I'm leaving." "I need to find myself." "I don't know who I am anymore." " I didn't realize this was going to be so hard." "We were too young when we married."
Only to have wife find out later, he has been "messing" around with someone else, and to boot someone she knows. Now when confronted with this deceit, the man states, "We are separated, it shouldn't matter what I do." "I'm not doing anything wrong." "What do you care we are not together anymore." Meanwhile what this "man" does not understand is not only did he take a piece of his wife's soul with him, he also slapped her in the face. Talk about kicking someone when they are down. That's just twisting the knife a little deeper.
When confronting the man about these indiscretions, he gives the same speech to anyone who questions him. "I'm separated, I can do what I want, I'm not doing it to hurt her, what do you know, you are making assumptions, I'm perfectly in the right." And then goes on to blame the person questioning, making statements such as, "You are not happy in your relationship so you are judging me."
What I find heart wrenching about this story is this. There is a difference in not being in love anymore, and wanting out, so you can hot dog around and see what you think you are missing in the world. It's the grass is greener complex, you think there is something better on the other side that you can't see what is right in front of you. There is also a total lack of caring or compassion for the people you hurt along the way.
Though I may not understand fully what our wife is going through, not having gone through that myself, there is deep sadness within myself over the situation. Not only do I feel bad for the wife who is so heartbroken she can hardly bare, I am losing the husband as well. A person I loved also, a person I was friends with, a person who I knew was loved by the wife. Separation, divorce, whatever it not only affects the people involved, it affects everyone involved. Grant it not to the decimation of the two involved, but to a level of sadness, loss, grief and helplessness.
When pain like this happens, there is a piece of someone who gets lost. A void that nothing can fill, and it's something that will be carried with them, always. Nothing anyone can do or say will fill that void, not even a new boyfriend or husband can fill that void. It's a void that will be carried around always. And that is the most diabolical part of our story. You may not have set out to do evil, but evils will is done.
Remember this, if you are ever thinking of hurting someone you love, or at least claimed to have loved, what you do creates a void within themselves, an empty gaping wound that can not be healed, a sorrow and sadness that is an angry weight of emotion, causing you to drown in the smallest drops of despair. Your smugness and attitude toward the infraction is just more weight on the anchor. It's unjustifiable, and it's unworthy of our efforts to save you. You deserve no savior, and you will one day reap the benefits of karma.
For now, we will help your wife pick up the pieces, scatter the ashes, and cap the void in her broken heart. We will remind her of how wonderful she is, and how you no longer deserved her. And I hope one day you will look back and see the damage you have caused, and feel remorse, for that is all we can hope for.... remorse.
Man tells wife, "I no longer need you or love you I'm leaving." "I need to find myself." "I don't know who I am anymore." " I didn't realize this was going to be so hard." "We were too young when we married."
Only to have wife find out later, he has been "messing" around with someone else, and to boot someone she knows. Now when confronted with this deceit, the man states, "We are separated, it shouldn't matter what I do." "I'm not doing anything wrong." "What do you care we are not together anymore." Meanwhile what this "man" does not understand is not only did he take a piece of his wife's soul with him, he also slapped her in the face. Talk about kicking someone when they are down. That's just twisting the knife a little deeper.
When confronting the man about these indiscretions, he gives the same speech to anyone who questions him. "I'm separated, I can do what I want, I'm not doing it to hurt her, what do you know, you are making assumptions, I'm perfectly in the right." And then goes on to blame the person questioning, making statements such as, "You are not happy in your relationship so you are judging me."
What I find heart wrenching about this story is this. There is a difference in not being in love anymore, and wanting out, so you can hot dog around and see what you think you are missing in the world. It's the grass is greener complex, you think there is something better on the other side that you can't see what is right in front of you. There is also a total lack of caring or compassion for the people you hurt along the way.
Though I may not understand fully what our wife is going through, not having gone through that myself, there is deep sadness within myself over the situation. Not only do I feel bad for the wife who is so heartbroken she can hardly bare, I am losing the husband as well. A person I loved also, a person I was friends with, a person who I knew was loved by the wife. Separation, divorce, whatever it not only affects the people involved, it affects everyone involved. Grant it not to the decimation of the two involved, but to a level of sadness, loss, grief and helplessness.
When pain like this happens, there is a piece of someone who gets lost. A void that nothing can fill, and it's something that will be carried with them, always. Nothing anyone can do or say will fill that void, not even a new boyfriend or husband can fill that void. It's a void that will be carried around always. And that is the most diabolical part of our story. You may not have set out to do evil, but evils will is done.
Remember this, if you are ever thinking of hurting someone you love, or at least claimed to have loved, what you do creates a void within themselves, an empty gaping wound that can not be healed, a sorrow and sadness that is an angry weight of emotion, causing you to drown in the smallest drops of despair. Your smugness and attitude toward the infraction is just more weight on the anchor. It's unjustifiable, and it's unworthy of our efforts to save you. You deserve no savior, and you will one day reap the benefits of karma.
For now, we will help your wife pick up the pieces, scatter the ashes, and cap the void in her broken heart. We will remind her of how wonderful she is, and how you no longer deserved her. And I hope one day you will look back and see the damage you have caused, and feel remorse, for that is all we can hope for.... remorse.
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