Deceit

How many times have you heard this story?
Man tells wife, "I no longer need you or love you I'm leaving." "I need to find myself." "I don't know who I am anymore." " I didn't realize this was going to be so hard." "We were too young when we married."

Only to have wife find out later, he has been "messing" around with someone else, and to boot someone she knows. Now when confronted with this deceit, the man states, "We are separated, it shouldn't matter what I do." "I'm not doing anything wrong." "What do you care we are not together anymore." Meanwhile what this "man" does not understand is not only did he take a piece of his wife's soul with him, he also slapped her in the face. Talk about kicking someone when they are down. That's just twisting the knife a little deeper.

When confronting the man about these indiscretions, he gives the same speech to anyone who questions him. "I'm separated, I can do what I want, I'm not doing it to hurt her, what do you know, you are making assumptions, I'm perfectly in the right." And then goes on to blame the person questioning, making statements such as, "You are not happy in your relationship so you are judging me."

What I find heart wrenching about this story is this. There is a difference in not being in love anymore, and wanting out, so you can hot dog around and see what you think you are missing in the world. It's the grass is greener complex, you think there is something better on the other side that you can't see what is right in front of you. There is also a total lack of caring or compassion for the people you hurt along the way.

Though I may not understand fully what our wife is going through, not having gone through that myself, there is deep sadness within myself over the situation. Not only do I feel bad for the wife who is so heartbroken she can hardly bare, I am losing the husband as well. A person I loved also, a person I was friends with, a person who I knew was loved by the wife. Separation, divorce, whatever it not only affects the people involved, it affects everyone involved. Grant it not to the decimation of the two involved, but to a level of sadness, loss, grief and helplessness.

When pain like this happens, there is a piece of someone who gets lost. A void that nothing can fill, and it's something that will be carried with them, always. Nothing anyone can do or say will fill that void, not even a new boyfriend or husband can fill that void. It's a void that will be carried around always. And that is the most diabolical part of our story. You may not have set out to do evil, but evils will is done.

Remember this, if you are ever thinking of hurting someone you love, or at least claimed to have loved, what you do creates a void within themselves, an empty gaping wound that can not be healed, a sorrow and sadness that is an angry weight of emotion, causing you to drown in the smallest drops of despair. Your smugness and attitude toward the infraction is just more weight on the anchor. It's unjustifiable, and it's unworthy of our efforts to save you. You deserve no savior, and you will one day reap the benefits of karma.

For now, we will help your wife pick up the pieces, scatter the ashes, and cap the void in her broken heart. We will remind her of how wonderful she is, and how you no longer deserved her. And I hope one day you will look back and see the damage you have caused, and feel remorse, for that is all we can hope for.... remorse.